Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
