She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i think i just lost a toe
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
