Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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