I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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