the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
