So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
