just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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