fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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