no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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