Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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