he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
