So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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