We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
