I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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