i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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