Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
