clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
