i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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