So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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