i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Green mimosas i think yes
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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