Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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