And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
