did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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