She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
