the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
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I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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