If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
