didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
