I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
