yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
