You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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