bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
