i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize