Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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