just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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