I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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