If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
im holly from the hills drunk
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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