you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize