I could have mohawked her pubes.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
