HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.