normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
