It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
