IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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