No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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