how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
