I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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