absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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