Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
