No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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