I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
