im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I want a musical about memes.
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