Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
honey bunches of taint.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
