I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
