somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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