he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize