Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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