The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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