ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
